I know I have you nursery workers out there thinking that there is no way that you could handle 12 month olds, because most are just learning how to talk and know just a few words. It doesn't stop me from being frustrated most Sundays recently (and Sadie isn't even 1 yet) when either Chris or I miss a meeting or two because our daughter is just too tired or loud (probably because she is tired) to stay in Sunday School or Relief Society. I don't feel like I can punish her in anyway, because it isn't her fault that she is tired, and when she is loud she isn't necessarily being bad. I am jealous of other moms when their little ones fall asleep on their lap in church (or anywhere for that matter.) Sadie just doesn't do it. She is a great sleeper, as long as she is in her crib, or her car seat with no one else around. She is used to getting regular naps, probably because I encourage them so that I can find time to clean, study, paint or any other projects that are not little buddy friendly. Anyway, what do you other mothers do during this in between phase? I try quiet toys and books, but my diaper bag is not big enough to bring enough to bring non- stop entertainment for three hours! I know some parents enjoy the excuse their little ones bring for them to sit in the halls, but I don't see the point in going to church if I sit in the halls. Any suggestions/ advice is appreciated.
8 comments:
I was talking about this w/ my friend who has a 13 month old & is always having to go in the halls. It is cruel that they can't start nursery yet, when it seems they would like it! I've definitely been there & it is such a tough time those 3 hours! Our nursery class is pretty easy, so last week I let my friend drop her 16 month old off in our nursery, he loved it.
I hate to say it, but some kids just are un-entertainable! Alli was fairly easy to keep happy during church (though I was still thrilled when it came time for her to go to nursery!) but Holly has always been harder. Sometimes you just have to survive every Sunday. I was kind of anti-snacks in church, but I had to succumb eventually with Holly. Good luck! Church can be rough sometimes.
Yeah....we had a VERY hard time with this phase. Patrick was not a public sleeper either, and just wanted to go, go, go the whole time. Being overtired just made him louder and harder to entertain.
First idea--get to know the nursery leadership. If they have enough space, they're often willing to let you and your kid hang out there, at least part of the time. Patrick and I would go during Sunday School while Sean was teaching and then Sean would come take over while I went to teach YW.
Second thought--if that doesn't work out, take turns being the hall monitor and stop worrying about forcing her to sit in class. The blessings come from being at church, and it is my firm opinion that moms and dads with toddlers in the hall get double. Focus on good behavior during sacrament meeting, and then do what you have to for the other meetings.
Third idea--start writing down what seems to really truly work in the diaper bag. For instance, certain snacks (yo-go's come to mind) take a looonngggg time to eat and are therefore better and more entertaining. Some books you have will be better than others. I have a "Sunday pack list" in the diaper bag and while we rotate things a little, most of those toys are only played with on Sunday. When you buy toys or she gets presents start looking specifically for things that would work well for church--magnetized animal books, shoelace cards, etc. Think small, lightweight, and engaging to your kid.
Fourth idea--start now to make it clear that Sacrament meeting is different. Try scripture books and gospel pictures (little ones one a ring work great) during the sacrament and then quiet toys the rest of the time. If she's noisy during the meeting for sure take her out, but start introducing the idea of the "naughty room"--basically find the most boring, soundproof room you can and insist she sit on your lap or a chair until she's ready to go back. Make it clear that the fun toys and snacks are all in the chapel and there's NOTHING fun about the naughty room. This takes a while to pay off and sink in but then once nursery starts for her, she's already much better about sacrament meeting and can endure that hour quite well. Save the hall roaming for during the next two meetings so she gets the memo that certain behavior is expected during the first meeting but not as much during the others.
That's all I have. I'm nowhere near an expert on this--we still have really, really bad weeks, but things have gotten SOOOOO much better in the last year and most of it was through trial and error. Good luck! Hang in there, and keep going---the point is that being at church brings blessings, and Sadie learns early on that it's just what we do on Sunday.
YOu can't have everything so be greatful for what you have. Only my last would not fall asleap in church.
The first 3 we just did the best we could. They liked to play s we made it most of the time.
When Marissa was born mom lived accross the street from the church so when she got tired I out her to sleep there. Mom would take Derek home after sacrament mtg and put him to bed.
Now we go to nursery and all is good. I think having nursery start at 18 months is a good way to keep us from having our kids to close together in age.
Amyjane had lots of great advice. I personally think the church should begin a nursery for age 12 mo-18 month olds. That way there are no big kids hurting the little ones and they can roam around and explore which is what they want to do at this age.
I know this sounds bold, but if your frustration has peaked, you could go to your bishop and ask to be put in as a nursery worker, so you could take Sadie with you. I wasn't excited about going into nursery, but church was completely unproductive for us because Owen has been walking since 9 months. He loves nursery and getting through sacrament seems like no big deal now. Plus, you could get that nursery service done in your ward and not have to worry about it anymore.
If you don't want to be a worker, you could always go hang out in the nursery with her, they won't care unless you have some weirdos running it.
I dunno. mine is only 6 weeks.
Benedryl.
Sadly enough, my only advice is this: suffer. None of my kids have ever done the sleeping-at-church thing past the age of about two months, and for the same reasons that you cited -- I always make sure they take regular naps -- in their own beds! I always felt the same way about it not being their fault that church was so tough, too. Eric always says that church with small children is a life lesson in patience -- which is probably more important than almost anything you could be learning in any of your classes, anyway. You just have to keep plugging along. Snacks always helped if it were a time when they were hungry anyway, but when they're tired, toys and books just aren't going to cut it! You simply can't expect a twelve-month-old to learn to sit quietly. Wandering the halls might seems like a cop-out answer, but sometimes it's the only one. I really liked to make rounds of the pictures that would be up in the halls of Jesus and prophets and stuff. It felt like I was at least teaching them something or trying to stay in the spirit of worship if I took them around and showed them pictures and told them stories that went along with the pictures. Just make sure that you both take equal turns at missing class, and that you stay attuned to her development, because you can hopefully hold out for five or ten minutes longer every month. Good luck! Church with kids will always be frustrating . . .
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